Unh
I'm tryna learn somethin new
I'm tryna surround myself with people that inspire me
Or at least inquire similar desires
What am I getting out of this? A good feeling, inspirations, positiveness or what? Or do I just feel tired, exhausted and unmotivated afterwards? And no, I'm not talking about
drinking but about relationships. Relationships can sometimes be tricky but rewarding if both sides have trust, respect and love towards each other - with these three things so many things can be worked out when conflicts come up. Also ones own responsibility is a important thing, being responsible for your own actions.
I've always loved to be with people and meet new and still DO but the main difference to my social life is that with whom and how I spend my main time nowadays. If before I was using my spare time off from work mainly running in different events and parties, socializing with people I didn't in the end really get to know better and also many times feeling a bit outsider, like I needed to prove myself somehow, now I'm
a)
learning to take time for myself and
b) choosing to spend my time with people that inspire me somehow.
With this I mean that I don't feel shittier after talking, being with them. At least I used to have some people in my social circle who would too many times just take all my energy and I'd feel heavier, emptier and grey later. In the worst case scenario your "friends" not only taking your energies but your believe in yourself and make you doubt the things you can do and be. You know those who "take you back to the ground" - it's good to have those friends too especially for a person like me who's flying sometimes in totally different levels with my big ideas and dreams BUT it's different to crash somebody's inspirations and motivations, to pull them underground and even laugh straight to their face in front of other people. I'm sure you know the type.
And people who fill their time talking about other people. What's with the other and their doings and problems? Why are we so interested about everything outside from us when we should actually turn and look inside of ourselves. Sometimes it's good to look at other people and learn through/from them but to blah-zay-blah all the time about others, especially if it's your "friends" - I'd shut up and try to learn about myself first.
And it's not always about cutting everyone completely off from your life but to find your own "space", vibe, and stay in it when encountering these
dementors occasionally. But when you have control of your time and energy, I've needed to ask myself many times where and to whom do I decide to give it. I share it with people who inspire me, give me the love and energy I need after a long day, support me even with my craziest ideas all though sometimes question them but in a loving way and in the end, if I fail, never give me the cold slap of "I told you so" but a warm, big hug. And I can always count on that. Sometimes it's people who you've known for years, sometimes only for a while but you can feel this seed of compassion in their heart that shines rather than sucks the living out of you.
Love and compassion. Find it in yourself and share it around but never let others take advantage of it or kill it. Not yourself, not your friends, your partner, your family. If the drink's not good, why are you taking the poison? Whoop de whoop, I want you to be your own Star!
